Even though I am just a teenager, love is the same as it would be at any age. It's not puppy love as people would say, it is real.

My story is one that touches alot of hearts. When I was 11 years old, my sister (at the time was 16) found her first true boyfriend. I thought that he was a really nice guy because he was always kind to me and played with me when I was lonely. I was best friends with his sister and friends with all his cousins. Also his parents were friends with mine, so everything was ok family-wise. Now, after one year when I turned 12, my sister decided that she did not want to be with him anymore. So they were over. I never knew how I really felt about him because I would always be comforting him while he was still thinking about her. I go round his house in the holidays alot because I am in a chinese association which he is also in. My sister isn't in it so she doesn't come down with me. After 2 more years all I have been doing is getting closer and closer to him. When he and my sister started to go out, he called me his little sister, which he still does now. He never got over my sister, I can tell he is deeply in love with her still. All I can do is paste a smile on my face and cheer him on. I am always crushed between the rocks, I have both sides of the story, his and hers. I was only young and I still am now. I am 14 now. Yet all my life is doing now, is getting more and more complicated.

Now moving on... when I was 12 I had a crush on him, just a little one and then it flew away. But now, I've had different feelings. Everything that I used to do with him and do now give me different feelings of how I see him. I've always thought of him as a brother, not a lover..until now. He always hugs me and even once kissed me (on the cheek) now all he does is mess up my feelings and confuses me.

He has no idea how I feel about him, and I don't want him to know either, because he hasn't gotten over my sister yet. He has had another girlfriend, but she looks and acts just like mai. It's too much of a coincidence. He will never take me seriously because all I am in his eyes is a little girl. After I've had a dream that he said that we we're meant to be, pushed me into the spot when I knew that I did fall in love with him afterall. But it can never come true, because I know that he will always love my sister no matter what... that is what always breaks my heart a little more each day and I can't get over him.. never again will I love someone more than him. Never will I get his love in return because I know how he feels...already. And now I know how he feels, I will spend my life alone.. without him ever loving me the way I want him to...

Heartbroken by his ways... only ever being the one step behind him...